It's been a busy first week and a half of school. But all the kids are settling into their classes. The younger 3 seem to all like their teachers. I don't know about Carly. She hasn't commented much about high school except that she discovered bags under her eyes from being too tired (I warned her that they would likely be there for the next 4 years!) and the seniors make the lunch lines too crowded. There was no hazing for the "fish" this year, which I guess is good, but I was a little disappointed that she wouldn't have the same kind of experience I had on the first day of high school. But oh well, she will have other great things going on.

Martha badly sprained her ankle last week. It made for a great first week of school. (can you hear my sarcasm?) She also missed school this week because she was "sick." I was struck with the idea of making up tickets for her to use on these "sick" days when she has no fever or other obvious illness. She has 5 left to use this semester, and once they are all gone, she will not be able to stay home at all unless she is truly sick, fever and all. I'm hoping it will work, but I don't know. She already seems to be heading down into a dark hole of depression and I am afraid she will wind up in the hospital again. She had a total meltdown last night during/after church. I was supposed to leave her with my mom while I drove to get Pete from work. She had homework to do so I felt she needed to stay and do it. She absolutely refused to stay at my moms. She has become so strongly attached to me that I feel suffocated. The ONLY time I get away from her is when she is at school. I can't spend any time alone with my other kids and I miss them. Carly is unhappy because I never see her anymore - although most of the reason for that is she is always at school or church. But when she is home, I can't ever go anywhere alone with her or just hang out with her in my room cuz Martha is always around the Carly doesn't like to be around Martha because of her grumpiness (and the fact that Martha is just plan mean to her) So when Carly is home, she hides out in her room. I miss her the most cuz I hardly get to see her.

Jenny and Suzy are doing great. They love their teachers and they usually get to see each other during lunch.  They are also eating school lunches this year, which is going really good so far. Of course, Martha hates the school lunches, but she hates just about everything. The little ones love it and enjoy feeling "normal" at school. Suzy was amazed when she figured out that their id cards served as "money" for their lunches. She said it was weird.

So today, Pete and I are going down to his old hometown to pick up a piano that has been in his family for about 60 years. It needs some work and some cleaning, but I'm hoping we can get it into shape and be able to play it. I would LOVE to learn to play the piano and have the kids learn. For some reason, I think Suzy would be good at it. I'm excited, just a little nervous about the execution of our plan. We have never moved a piano before and I'm scared we will damage it beyond repair. Plus, our van is leaking fuel and being on the road all day will be a little nerve-racking. I worry that the van will break down. And then theirs the situation with the lights. Our trailer has a short in it somewhere and it's causing our van to blow a fuse that controls all the lights. I have a box of fuses to fix it, but I don't want to be stopping every hour to replace a fuse. But at lease Pete will be with me. I hate when I'm alone and the van breaks down.

I gotta close this so I can go wake Pete up and get ready to go.

Yay!! School starts tomorrow! I actually have mixed feeling about that. On one hand, I'm excited to have some "me" time again with all four kids at school. Martha was homeschooled from the end of February thru the rest of the year. So it will be nice to be alone again. On the other hand, the schedule is tiring and the kids get grumpy from lack of sleep, too much homework, and not enough "kid" time. Martha especially is the worst during school time. She is very difficult to wake up in the morning and is very picky about her clothes, shoes, food, etc. Add homework and a lack of sleep, and she is a nightmare at times. She has been difficult all day, complaining about everything, just unhappy. I know it's cuz she is anxious about school tomorrow. She is worried about what the kids will say to her. We have talked about what she will tell kids, cuz we know there will be lots of questions about why she suddenly stopped coming to school last year. She is supposed to simply tell them that she was sick so she did homeschool for the rest of the year. I've told her countless times that it is no one;s business what her illness was and she just needs to say that doesn't want to talk about it. Whether she will follow the plan or not is a different story.

Today was the primary program at church. It was so neat to see the kids get up and talk. My little ones did great. There were a few kids that like to sing extra loud during their favorite songs and it is precious. Carly, who was sitting by me, kept making funny faces at Martha. It was kind of sad when I realized that it was Martha's last primary program. She is turning 12 in a little less than 2 months and will move on to Young Women's. I will probably cry when it's Jenny's last program.

This week already looks crazy busy. We will have to go school shopping for Carly once she gets all her lists from her teachers. She has a game on Tuesday. Martha has a therapy appointment on Wednesday. And seminary starts on Wednesday morning for Carly. She says she doesn't want to do seminary, but I'm gonna have to put my foot down and make her go. But first I have to convince her coaches that she needs to miss practice without being penalized. It is a religious thing, after all.

Last week I celebrated my birthday. It was pretty depressing realizing how old I'm getting and the place I am in life. It's not what I ever wanted, that's for sure. We are about to lose our house and we really have no where to go. My mom's house is already too crowded with my aunt, cousin, and my cousin's half sister.

Pete did start a new job last night. It's a private security job for a friend from church. It pays really well. He's done the job before. We are hoping we can work out an arrangement with the mortgage company to pay off our past due balance in installments. The worst part of the job is it's during the night. But it's totally worth it.

We are also having car problems. The van is leaking gas from the fuel pump, which is located on top of the fuel tank. The mechanic says it will be at least $500.  And the trailer is blowing fuses in our van when we use the hazard lights. That will cost $100-200 to fix cuz the wiring in the trailer will need to be replaced.

Business is not growing because I can't advertise the way I need to. It's very frustrating. If I can get the business going, money won't be such an issue anymore and I won't have to depend on my mom to get us through each month.

Carly is starting high school this year. That is really depressing. I can't believe she is that old already. It breaks my heart that she will be moving out in about 4 years. She is on the volleyball team and in JROTC and she has been practically living at the high school for the last 3 weeks already. She has had a few vball games already, too. She is on the freshman A team so she has games twice a week thru the end of October. The schedule is crazy and I'm already tired of it. I don't know yet if she will be able to even go to Seminary because of early morning practice, and the coaches haven't even had the decency to tell us yet what time practices will be.

Life is really hectic right now!

Last night, 2 blocks from my mom's house, I got pulled over for 2 lights out on the back of the van. As she proceeds to give me a formal warning, she discovers that my registration is expired and I have no insurance. Welcome to being too poor to buy car insurance, which results in the inability to register your car. So I got 2 tickets for that. She kindly didn't tow my van like she was supposed to, probably because I was crying and I had 2 kids in the car, plus I was almost to my moms house. I am very grateful for that. But now I have to ask my mom for help in getting insurance plus registration for my van, and then probably to pay the tickets if they don't dismiss them. It's humiliating and frustrating to ask my mom to help us so much financially. I started my business so I wouldn't have to have her help anymore and it hasn't gotten me anywhere yet. Oh, and as we were pulling the trailer yesterday, the hazard lights blew a fuse. So we have to get some wiring replaced on the trailer so it doesn't continue to blow a fuse on our van. I knew the wiring was wearing out, but I was hoping it would last longer than this.

So Suzy started her new ADD med this week. It's Adderall, which translates to meth. I'm bothered about giving her such a powerful, addictive med, but I don't know what else to do. The strattera wasn't working anymore and it made her so sick. But on the plus side, she will lose weight with this med. She has become a little chubby. Too bad I can't take this med and lose weight!

Yesterday, tragedy struck in a neighboring city, College Station. A lunatic being served with an eviction notice shot and killed the constable and another innocent man, and injured a police officer and a woman. The lunatic was then shot and killed by police. That will save us taxpayers millions of dollars in prosecution, prison time, and execution. Who knew that putting an inmate on death row costs the state more and sentencing them to life in prison? It's crazy but it's true because of the appeals the death row inmates automatically receive after their sentence. I fully support the death penalty, but only if the person is without a doubt guilty. I believe there needs to be hard evidence that they committed the crime. Not speculation and questionable witnesses. Just my opinion!

Sorry I've been MIA for a while. I got caught up reading Harry Potter again, and then I started reading "The Lying Game" series.
I decided that reading gives me a great escape from reality. It takes my mind off the difficult things in my life.
Pete and I celebrated our 16th anniversary this weekend. It was so much better than last year when he was in the hospital with pneumonia.  Carly had a volleyball scrimmage in Houston, so we went down there with my mom, waited out six 20-minute games, and went out to eat at BJ's brewhouse. They have pretty good gluten-free pizza there. We wanted to go to Boston's, but they sadly closed down. Then we finished the school shopping for the kids. I'm SO grateful for my mom and all she does for us. I only wish that I can one day repay her somehow. That is my dream.

Business is the same. No new customers recently. I am so frustrated cuz I can't advertise and that leads to no customers. But we are going to advertise in the school volleyball program since Carly is selling ads for her team. It supports the team, and hundreds of people will see it. I'm excited about it. I hope it helps the business.

The last few days I have had severe back pain. It's driving me insane because nothing I take will get rid of it. I miss being able to turn my head and move without pain. I think I need a chiropractor, but that requires something I always lack- money.

Martha is watching Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, so it keeps distracting me. I think I will go lose myself in the movie!!

Prayers requested!

My brother - we'll call him G, is 14 months older than me. He was married in the Salt Lake temple just over 12 years ago. He and his wife have 2 small boys. Last week, his wife asked for a divorce. He was devastated and heartbroken. Last night, his house burned down.
He and his wife decided to sell the house and each get individual apartments. G wanted to do a short sell and he started packing on Sunday. They boys are at my moms with my kids. He lit a candle to cover up the litter box smell and packed. Eventually he fell into bed, exhausted. A while later a smoke alarm went off and all he could see was orange coming from the kitchen area. He was able to grab a couple of things (but not his shoes or glasses) and got out, calling 911. I'm not sure yet how much damage there is, but speaking from experience- I'd say it's a total loss. He may be able to salvage a few things, but the house is irreparable.
I am SO grateful that he is ok and that the kids weren't there. Those poor boys have been through enough lately - they were in a car wreck a few weeks ago, their parents fighting and now divorcing. At least they won't know that fear of waking up to a burning home.
I haven't personally spoken to G. But my mom said he called just bawling, asking why everything was being taken away. I'm just heartbroken for him. I hate seeing loved ones go through such misery.

Sorry I haven't posted on here. I have been really sick with a cough, fever, headache, etc. I have been miserable.
All my girls are home, but 3 of them are over at my mom's. Pete is at work, so Martha is here to "take care" of me. When she's awake, she does pretty good. It's getting her awake that's the problem.
But she did have a great time at camp. She talked for hours about it. But I can also tell that the change in her med is not going to work. I've emailed her doctors office to request a new med.

The saddest thing to happen this weekend was that my brother and his wife are divorcing. She asked for the divorce. What makes me mad is she called me to talk to me about getting Carly out of there on Thursday night (she went to Pete's brothers house) and told me that she was leaving my brother. She said it was because of his temper and she couldn't subject herself or their kids to it anymore. I believed her and was very disappointed in my brother. But then I found out that she has been cheating on my brother with numerous partners for the last year. That REALLY ticks me off.
So all I can do is be there for my brother and pray for the kids. They seem to want the best for their kids at least.